“I’m thinking about quitting piano lessons.” Have you ever heard your child say this to you? I have had parents say things to me like “my child wants to quit piano and I don’t want them to”, or “if I let them quit they will regret it one day”, or even “how to I get them to practice more”. Have you ever said these things to your child’s piano teacher or just thought them in your head?
I started piano lessons at the age of 6. I always enjoyed learning how to play and loved to see how fast I could get through the method books. As the years went on, I phased out of the method books and started learning more music theory and harder repertoire. This also required me to practice more. Instead of practicing 20-30 minutes a day, I was told to start practicing an hour a day. After doing my homework and being tired from school, I just wanted to relax. I was getting older and wanted to watch TV or do anything else besides practice the piano really. Piano started to feel more like a chore instead of something I enjoyed doing. This was really nobody’s fault. It just happened. So at the age of 11 I quit piano lessons. Then, about a year later, I decided I was ready to take lessons again, so I got back into them.
The desire to take piano lessons needs to come from the child not the parent.
Here’s the deal. If your child wants to quit piano lessons, or you are seeing a lack of desire, or they aren’t as passionate about it as they once were, please do not force them to take lessons. I cannot tell you the number of students I had who would work on the same song week after week or would spend half of their lesson talking about where they would rather be. Either your child will grow passionate about something else and you will be able to help that desire and interest grow, or they will take a break from lessons and will come back to it when THEY are ready. Please do not beat yourself up if your child loses the interest in piano lessons. Parents…it is not your fault. You could be the most encouraging, loving, and uplifting parent, but if the desire for that child is not there, it’s not there.
“But what if they become an adult and regret not taking a music lesson?”
Well, here is my answer to that. Either they will take lessons when they are an adult or they will already have a passion for something else at that point. Everyone is not good at everything. I tried playing basketball and was terrible at it. I don’t remember looking back now wishing I had stuck with it. I am also a terrible drawer. This is something I can say with complete confidence I have no skill at. Piano lessons are not for everyone and that’s ok.
If your child is in piano lessons and you can tell they have a natural talent and are just being lazy, this is a whole different can of worms.
The child might just need a positive push to succeed. As parents, it’s ok to give your children the push they need to succeed if you know piano is their passion. You are the parent and know your child better than anyone. If you get a little push back from the child that’s ok too. Sometimes, being in lessons does become tedious and tiring, but all the hard work that your child puts into it will pay off. The first time they learn a favorite song, or are able to play a song from memory, or are confident enough to play in front of a crowd, all the hours of practice will be worth it.
Every child is different.
Either they are passionate and should keep going strong, have lost interest and need to take a little break for a while, or show no desire and want to quit. Some students thrive in a traditional piano lesson and surpass even the teachers expectations and this is fantastic.
If you are wanting an idea of a great keyboard to start on (I have the same one in my home), then I recommend the this one
Has your child ever used the words “I want to quit piano?” What was the outcome of that conversation? If your child wants to try an online option for learning piano, I would love for you to check out my online piano lessons.
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I think that music lessons should be treated like any educational subject at school. How many kids are excited about doing math,but they take it anyway anyway and the parents find the way to motivate them. They could be given a choice when they entered the high school where they can choose their classes. Before,the parents should decide like with anything else they decide what is good for their kids. I’ve met people who not only regret quitting, but blame their parents who let them quit rather than do the work of motivating them one way or another.
Great post. We got my daughter violin lessons for three years when she was pretty young (not toddler but 8-11). She picked it from a menu of available instrument teachers locally. She didn’t fall in love with it, enjoyed a few songs but practicing was a chore for all of us. We made a deal that she would finish out the season and showcase (a more relaxed thing than “recital”) & good for her she did but she hasn”t looked back. Fast forward to 12-1/2 years old, she starts plinking on our Yamaha digital piano. I didn’t say anything. A few months later she asked for piano lessons. She’s enjoying it on her own terms and I think it’s great. I still remind her to practice, with school work and so on it can be a challenge to manage the time, but it’s not a chore like it was with violin. I wish someon had put an electric bass in my hands when I was 12. I discovered it at 45, and it’s the only thing I can practice and lose track of time….
Yes! I love how your daughter decided when she was ready to take piano. Great job for listening to her and letting her do it in her own timing. It definitely shouldn’t feel like a chore and tell her to give herself grace if she ends up not having as much time to practice as she did the day before. It’s all about balance.
I had to learn that the hard way. One daughter’s hands weren’t big enough and one son would get so frustrated because he couldn’t be perfect.
I’m sure you will find what their interests are. It is hard for me as a mom to figure out what each of my kids are into. If they are passionate about music that is great though!
I totally agree with this! I used to play the flute and I wish I had tried harder at it and kept up with it. I wasn’t the best, and my parents let me quit, but it would’ve been awesome if I had become great at it. Lol 🙂 This is a great post though, thank you for sharing!
I believe it is all in how motivated we are. I think it’s that way in life too. Thanks!
I took piano starting at about age 6, as well. In the 8th grade, my mom said I could quit if I wanted to, but she would like if I kept at it. I quit, because I just didn’t want to do it anymore. I regret not being able to play anything and everything I want to now, but I know I still wouldn’t practice it now. I don’t really regret not keeping at it. I do wish I could start my daughter on piano lessons now, though; she’s 9, almost 10, and would love them I think.
Good points! I agree that sometimes as adults it is easy to regret not keeping up with lessons. Sometimes it’s a hard call. Your daughter would be the perfect age to take lessons!